In between the long idle moments in the office, there are work moments. But I always prefer the idle moments every time: I'm simply more productive. That's when it all comes together.

Somehow, I got wrapped into a conversation on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Took some work trawling the 'net before we eventually pinned them all down: Famine, War, Pestilence, and the Anti-Christ. As stark and as austere a set of symbols as you would imagine given they're key dramatis personae from the Book of Revelations.

That long idle moment spread a little longer, and I started to wonder what they might look like today. Who's going to be today's runners and riders in the Apocalypse Grand National ? What would represent today's great dilemmas, our collective aches and pains? And how would they look?

It's taken a bit of time, but I think I'm there. Here goes, here's the race card: Binge drinking; obesity; the ASBO; and finally, our dear friend, the Hoodie. The first too pissed to ride; the second, too fat to mount; the third, banned from going anywhere near a horse; the fourth, well, not much going to happen there, if even the horse crosses the road every time it sees you.

Are these good choices? Let me know.