Can you say that again? Are you sure? That's like a telephone number you've read out....Tell me again, but slowly this time. No, that can't be right. There's too many digits. It is right ! Jesus, they should name a school after me...! That's not a tax demand, it's bloody ransom note. I'm speechless....

January is the cruelest month; no money, sepulchral weather, and above it all the looming tax payment deadline. The friend who works out my accounts told me mine yesterday. Hey ho, here we go...