I like the idea of the Royal Wedding so much I'm going to celebrate by going to another country.

The crowds, the nonsense, the tabloids in frothy nuptial overdrive, the fear of the street being taken over by a street party (there's already a flag pole with the English flag in a back garden a few doors away from where I'm staying). The lachrymosity, the dreary sentimentalism, the spurious nostalgia. All of it makes my heart sink like a stone. I could n't, I can't face any of it.

Hello Dublin, see you on Thursday...