"Tube, tube, tube....take me home...!" Take me somewhere at least. Long day on the District Line, chugging from Turnham Green to Blackfriars and back.

Turnham Green is Chiswick's local station - the other place in London I occasionally fetch up in and call home.

Usually I trek across the badlands of Notting Hill (there are some - I know. I live in one.) to Holland Park, and there to throw myself on to the mercies of the Central Line and an altogether different journey into work, something, which in the world of Service with a capital S would be defined as another "experience". An express train in comparison to those easing themselves gently out of Turnham Green.

The District Line is for sightseeing, like a tourist train winding gracefully through the Alps: a stop here to absorb the view of the innards of a tunnel; a breather before ambling into the next station; time for lengthy reflection at Earl's Court - trains pull in, pull out, whilst we do nothing so vulgar. Then at an unknown signal, perhaps when the last person has finished flipping through a freebie morning paper, we trot out of the station. Never a gallop, always a gentle trot.

I truly believe tube lines reflect the character of the people who use them, and thus by implication the area and whatever mores or values are endemic to those neighbourhoods. The Central Line, certainly the leg I take is busy, it's buzzy, edgy, animated and in full colour... things could happen... weird, wild, mischievous things. It's like that.

Dear old District Line: silky, pottering, a Grandmother holding her grandson's hand in the park feel. Not in a hurry, don't worry, we'll get there. People in suits, citywear, well-presented. It's a coiffed line. A couture mood. You settle into the carriage.

The antithesis to the Central Line, where native cunning is the key to bagging a perch. How good your wriggling skills are, how slippery you are, can mean the difference between being onboard, or being left standing platformside as the final carriage scorches out of the station. It's a no quarter tubeline. You're on or you're not. Simple.