The next step in personal finance has to be an ATM that tells it like it is, plainly and clearly, and in a language that's easily understood, so there's absolutely no margin for error. No bland welcome message popping up on screen seconds after it's ingested your card, no solicitious "what would you like to do today ?" appeal. No, none of that. Time for messages that actually mean something, that really have something to say.

Tough, hard messages for tough, hard times. That's it: an ATM that dispenses tough love. You go up to it, tap your numbers in, choose a transaction, and you get something like this: " Want to do that? You do, Ok, then make sure there's a doctor near by or at least take a tranquiliser because when you see what you've got left in there, you're going need help, it's going to hurt " Or what about this injunction: "Friend, stay in and catch up on sleep, because you are going nowhere till payday, and I mean that, nowhere" Then again, there's this: "Checked all your accounts, the loose change pocket in those jeans in the laundry bin, lifted up the sofa cushions. Scrabbled around in the cat litter. Nothing. Do yourself a favour, forget it..."

Speaking clocks, ovens that turn themselves on and off, washing machines that pick the right cycle, we have the technology, so is an intuitive ATM that far behind? Really I could have done with one this morning. However hard I wished, that was no coding error on screen, that damn decimal figure was in the right place.