At least three people I know have had Swine flu, or if not that, then something virtually indistinguishable. Sweating, prone for days, barking, hacking coughs, streaming noses, aching bones, and so on.

I'm not entirely certain if I've had it or not. Something recognisably flu-like did knock me out in May though. So maybe I did...

Whatever it was did n't hang about. No slow, creeping barrage, this was the missile out of the blue.

I was having a meal with a friend in Canta Napoli, and we'd reached the dessert stage - so far, so healthy - then blitzkrieg: I broke out coughing and did n't stop for a week, plus got all the other nasties that tag along with flu. But not, surprisingly, the soaring temperature which seems to be swine flu's signature.

So maybe I did n't...