There's no noise but the sound of the clock near my sofa and the endless swell of the traffic on the nearby Westway. Ripe time for writing, yet I can't; my imagination will not tick over. I hate times like this.

But I have been laughing my head off at a Facebook thread that's free-wheeling around a friend's on / off jury duty in LA. Umpteen theories on how to get yourself released from jury duty (not sure I would in my case; it's a public duty, there are rights, there are obligations too); nevertheless, this is my favourite so far: tell the authorities you can recognise the guilty by the distance between their eyes, then take a ruler and measure it on the judge.