A good chunk of my working day - and it can be all of it on occasions - is spent on conference calls. Sometimes I lead them, other times, I just chip in comments here and there, but usually, I simply listen. And if I said I did that with even with half an ear, I'd be way off the mark, because I don't. A conference call is a distributed, scattered way of working, usually done in isolation, no one around, and if there is, inevitably it's not someone you're working with, meaning no peer pressure to look "engaged". Face to face meetings demand you look at least awake. That's one thing. Then, since there's so many, they've become routine. The calendar's full of them. So, like brushing teeth, you do them without thinking. Mind numbing in a way. You're there, but you're not there.
Nature, always, abhors a vacuum. Something has to fill that attention gap during those third state conference calls - when all I'm doing is listening...inactively. I don't doodle. No, I while away the time thinking up imaginary business games. Like, Jumping to Conclusions for instance, or how about Kneejerking, or my personal favourite, The Crawl. I'm trying to come up with enough events for a decathlon. But I'm not including Back-stabbing, that's more Ancient Rome and the Gladiators.
From time to time, I might turn my hand to dreaming up new management jargon. I am convinced that anyone who uses business jargon really has no idea what it means, yet feels compelled to use whatever it is they've picked up at any opportunity. For some people, it's like the arms race, you've simply got to have more jargon to hand than the next person. I can do my job, I can't understand the jargon we use, though. I've given up. But not wanting to feel left behind, I've come up with my own - Keyhole Thinking is one, High Concept Thinking, the other. Don't ask me what's behind either because I've no idea. Who knows, however, there could be the One Minute Manager's guide to Keyhole Thinking eventually.
See what happens when the bulk of your working day is listening to disembodied voices hour after hour.
Monday, June 26, 2006
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1 comment:
I love this.
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