"The final liberties of the freeborn Englishman torn away by Boris's killjoy Nanny state. No longer will the honest working man be able to enjoy a quiet quarter bottle of vodka or can of lager on the tube. A thousand years of freedom gone..." Headlines on the Evening Standard you'll never see. Ever. Except we all know they would have appeared, and with corwumphing relish, had Ken Livingstone proposed a ban on alcohol on public transport and not ol' BJ.